Some may say that the ‘bad old days’ of people giving you gifts at your wedding that they have chosen themselves, is long gone and should be put away with a shudder and a shrug of the shoulders.

Photograph by Kari Herer on Etsy

Today, wedding registries are the chosen way to receive the things you want and need to set up your life together. The advantage of picking and choosing just the right cutlery or dinner set and saucepans is that you get exactly what you want and are not lumbered for many years with items that are the wrong style or colour, or of inferior quality.

The downside is, that especially for older people, the presumption that what they choose and buy for you will not be as appreciated as the items you have chosen for your registry, may not sit comfortably. Yes, in the ‘olden’ days you will have received items that sat in the back of the cupboard, until one day they came in handy! You may also have received multiple items that you felt you couldn’t use immediately.

However, you knew all those gifts were chosen with love and care by people who wanted the best for you, who bought the best they could afford, with you in mind.
Perhaps if you decide to go the ‘pot luck’ route, but still want a few really special items, you could let a parent or friend know so that a group could club together and buy this item for you. Someone could be given a list of items you would especially love and be the central person to call, in case your guests are not sure of your taste.

Whichever method you decide on, each gift will be special and represent a new start for your life together. Be sure to send out your thank you cards to let your guests know how special!

It’s a grey cloudy day and what could be nicer than getting out a beautiful cup and pouring yourself a nice hot cup of tea? Perch yourself in a comfy chair in that spot of autumn sunshine coming in the window and take the chance to read, to savour and relax.

In our busy lives, it is often hard to justify to ourselves some ‘me time’ – but that is exactly the thing that re-charges the soul and enables us to give more. The pleasures we give ourselves need only be simple – enjoying a walk in the rain, cosying up by a fire, reading a book, or enjoying your cup of tea instead of rushing it.

There are many varieties of tea and many different ways of buying it. From loose leaf to tea bags, tea balls, flavoured teas, green or white teas, teas from northern NSW to the Daintree incorporating Australian bush spices, teas from India or South Africa. Buy them from your local specialty tea store, the internet, or on your travels when you stop for a cuppa.

Decant the teas into labelled tins or jars, put your prettiest tea set nearby, and you might just be encouraged to give yourself the gift of ‘tea time/me time’ more often!

Bodum Tea Press from Peter’s Of Kensington, Tea images via Husk, Husk tea blends are available in the Bridal Survival Mother’s Survival Kit and the Bridal Survival Engagement Survival Kit

One of the missions of the Bridal Survival blog, is to have you enjoy the wedding planning process. Taking time out to be present in the wonderful moments of the journey and have perspective.

This beautiful piece, written by Erma Bombeck when she found out she was dying of cancer reminded us to take a breath and take life by two hands and live it. The same goes for wedding planning- make the most of the precious moments!

If I Had My Life To Live Over – by Erma Bombeck

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, ‘Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.’ There would have been more ‘I love you’s’, more ‘I’m sorry’s.’
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it and really see it , live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!
Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.
Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

This is the year to put into practise those thoughts of being kinder to yourself. This means taking time out from your ‘busy-ness’ to just ‘be’, to think, to dream. To do this you don’t need lots of dollars, just creative thinking and contemplation of what you feel would relax you at this moment. It will be different on each occasion.

Janne Peters

We suggest:
– curling up under your favourite rug to snooze
– buying an attractive book with blank pages and start to diary your innermost thoughts and feelings
– reading a chapter of a favourite book
– buying or picking and arranging a bunch of foliage and flowers
– making a pot of your favourite tea with tea leaves, lemon wedges and sugar, serve it in a beautiful cup and savour
– preparing good quality hot chocolate, float a marshmallow on the top and sip with pleasure
– taking a bubble bath and giving yourself a facial or pedicure
– putting on your favourite music and dancing madly around the room
– taking a walk on a rainy afternoon
– jumping in puddles
– walking along a windswept beach to collect driftwood and shells
– making a wind chime or mobile from that driftwood and those shells
– teach yourself a new skill – knit that scarf, write that poem, sing a song
As you get into the habit of doing this every week for at least half an hour, it will become second nature to you. You will miss it if it ever disappears from your life!

The months leading up to your wedding day are a great time to consider your possessions. One chapter of your life closes and the new chapter with your husband will begin. There is no better time to re-organize your belongings. Will you live in a new home together or move in to one or the other’s home? Have you been already living together and have shared belongings? If so, it’s best to do this together in consultation with each other.

Kikki K Desktop Solution

There is a saying – ‘don’t keep anything that is not useful or beautiful’. Using this as your guide, look around each room in your house. In the bathroom, throw out old cosmetics and medications, towels that are past their use-by date, and that wilted pot plant. In the kitchen, clean the cupboards of out of date food, utensils that are not useful, non stick pots that are scratched, appliances that you never use or things that are just plain unattractive. Do the same for each room of your house. Do the same with the furniture too, if you can afford it or if you are doubling up at your new home.

Then start on your clothes and linen cupboards. Things that are uncomfortable, too small, too big, old fashioned, worn or don’t match anything. Not only does this give you an idea of where you have gaps to fill with more desirable goods, but it will also give you ideas of what you should ask for in your wedding registry. Do you need new sheets, blankets or towels? New pots and pans, a beautiful cutlery set or dinner set?

Clear storage boxes from Howard’s Storage World

Make three piles – one to throw away, one to keep, and one to give to charity. Organise the charity to come and pick up their goods, and the Council to pick up your hard rubbish. There – all done! Now you can enjoy the freshness of the new start that is to come. And in these times of less prosperity – make it a rule not to buy anything for your new home together that is not ‘useful or beautiful’!